It's a beautiful day for a hangover
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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