i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
