Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
