i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
