Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
