Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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