This is not my ceiling
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
