u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
