Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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