dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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