From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
