My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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