kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
