You just made me feel so damn special
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
