i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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