i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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