...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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