My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
