There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
