I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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