i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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