she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
