I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
