I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
