Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
