This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
