You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
