How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
