where does the pee come out of this thing
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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