I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
