Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
