i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
