you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
