you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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