your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
