I look better un-naked...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
