I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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