Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
