You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
