So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I want a musical about memes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
