He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
