the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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