My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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