Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
