don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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