We're facebook friends in real life
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
