Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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