Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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