What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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