She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
