So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
