At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
