Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
